Em's Response to Glam Hair vs. Patriarchy

Hey All,

I'm copying & pasting Em's response to my first post. It got posted as a comment, but I think the intention was for it to be on the main page (and I think it deserves to be).

Hope everyone is well.

-Aimee
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First, I want to say that this rings true with many of my thoughts lately. I recently read that the number reason women list for having a good day is "good" hair. So it seems as though a good hair day translates into a good day period. Now I find this to be quite disturbing, as I would like to think that a good day depends on much more than some protein on top of my head. I would like to think that a good day could mean that I did something significant, learned something, positively influenced someone else, or whatever.

So I started to pay attention to my own attitude, and realized that this said majority of women might be on to something. its not just my hair (which has not had a good day in a long time if you ask me), but my feelings about my overall appearance that strongly influence my self confidence, which in turn influences my attitude about myself and the way I relate to other people. I found that the better I felt about myself, the more outgoing and friendly I was with other people.

How bizarre, yet I have a feeling that I am not alone (at least to some extent). If I am, then someone needs to set me straight and let me in on the secret. Are we so vain that our perception of how we look colors everything we do? Why does "looking good" affect our outlook and attitude more than our actions, our accomplishments, our friendships?

I want to say that I truly believe that it does not. I want to believe that having a good hair day, or wearing a sexy outfit, only amplifies our feelings at any particular time, which are hopefully based on a more concrete and significant reality.
But given what society tells us on a daily basis and would like us to believe, it would not surprise me if I were wrong. It would be a constant and most probably unpleasant battle to fight what our culture tells us about our appearances. Would it really be worth it? Could it make us ultimately happier and more content people in the end?

Lastly, is this necessarily being pessimistic, or just realistic? Is this such a bad thing to be so affected by our appearances? After all, if our "good" day was not caused by our hair, then what might become of all those good hair days?