What up, bitches?

Hey bitches....or should that be bitchers? I'm Haley and I am so thrilled to have an open forum to talk about whatever the fuck I want!

-I don't know how many of you read Savage Love, but for any of you that is even mildly pervy and/or likes knowing other people's dirt, he's a must read. Published in the Seattle-based paper The Stranger, Dan Savage, gay sexpert, runs an advice column for people that need a kind-yet-frank opinion on their sex lives. Fair warning to the prudes among us, this stuff gets pretty raunchy. Judge not lest ye be judged, however, because you'll learn alot about yourself (and how relatively normal you are) by reading about other peoples' cuckold fantasies/foot fetishes/pegging obsessions/fecal interests/tranny tendancies. There is some vocabulary you must be savvy to, including GGG which stands for Good, Giving and Game- something we should all strive to be in the bedroom. Dan's advice is usually right on, with just the right amount of snark thrown in: "You can't get your girlfriend off when you fuck her? Play with her clit. No seriously, play with her clit. Her clit? Play with it. What's that? You need something to play with? How bout her clit? Play with her clit." Perhaps the most hilarious part of all? Dan Savage writes all of his advice from the desk Ann Landers used to use. That's right. He's the new Dear Abby.

-Can we bitch about Britney Spears momentarily? Everyone on Earth has an opinion on her, and guess what? I do too. I want to start by saying I feel no sympathy for BritBrit. This mouseketeer would be working at a Dairy Queen in Louisiana if it weren't for her really really lucky break. She decided to shit it all away. This isn't something that HAPPENED to her. These are choices she made in a long line of really terrible decisions that cost her her career. Also, pop stars don't have a very long shelf life. What tweener wants to see the mother of two taking her clothes off on stage while lip synching to music that was popular in 1998? That's how these things work. She lasted almost ten years. That's a pretty good run. How much longer was she supposed to last? Mariah Carey is different....she sings. But someone who can't sing, can't act and can only dance if she's in a bikini, apparently....was her career even supposed to be half as long as this? The problem is that people are trying to attach meaning to what she does. Just because she's famous, doesn't mean she's not simply weird. There's no deeper meaning. There are no Big Reasons Why her career went down the tubes. We all knew weird kids in high school (hell some of us were those kids) Britney's just a weird kid. I just hope she cleans herself up so that we don't have to hear about her anymore. And yes I hope for a clean up. If she dies I couldn't bear to see the Rolling Stone tribute to her, remembering her as a talented and controversial artist. She's a product. Products become obselete. And all we're left with is the old adage- Is it better to burn out than to fade away?

Thanks for adding me to this awesome blog. I really like reading what everyone has to say. It's bedtime for me, so have a good night. Can't wait to hear from you all tomorrow!