Hey bitches....or should that be bitchers? I'm Haley and I am so thrilled to have an open forum to talk about whatever the fuck I want!
-I don't know how many of you read Savage Love, but for any of you that is even mildly pervy and/or likes knowing other people's dirt, he's a must read. Published in the Seattle-based paper The Stranger, Dan Savage, gay sexpert, runs an advice column for people that need a kind-yet-frank opinion on their sex lives. Fair warning to the prudes among us, this stuff gets pretty raunchy. Judge not lest ye be judged, however, because you'll learn alot about yourself (and how relatively normal you are) by reading about other peoples' cuckold fantasies/foot fetishes/pegging obsessions/fecal interests/tranny tendancies. There is some vocabulary you must be savvy to, including GGG which stands for Good, Giving and Game- something we should all strive to be in the bedroom. Dan's advice is usually right on, with just the right amount of snark thrown in: "You can't get your girlfriend off when you fuck her? Play with her clit. No seriously, play with her clit. Her clit? Play with it. What's that? You need something to play with? How bout her clit? Play with her clit." Perhaps the most hilarious part of all? Dan Savage writes all of his advice from the desk Ann Landers used to use. That's right. He's the new Dear Abby.
-Can we bitch about Britney Spears momentarily? Everyone on Earth has an opinion on her, and guess what? I do too. I want to start by saying I feel no sympathy for BritBrit. This mouseketeer would be working at a Dairy Queen in Louisiana if it weren't for her really really lucky break. She decided to shit it all away. This isn't something that HAPPENED to her. These are choices she made in a long line of really terrible decisions that cost her her career. Also, pop stars don't have a very long shelf life. What tweener wants to see the mother of two taking her clothes off on stage while lip synching to music that was popular in 1998? That's how these things work. She lasted almost ten years. That's a pretty good run. How much longer was she supposed to last? Mariah Carey is different....she sings. But someone who can't sing, can't act and can only dance if she's in a bikini, apparently....was her career even supposed to be half as long as this? The problem is that people are trying to attach meaning to what she does. Just because she's famous, doesn't mean she's not simply weird. There's no deeper meaning. There are no Big Reasons Why her career went down the tubes. We all knew weird kids in high school (hell some of us were those kids) Britney's just a weird kid. I just hope she cleans herself up so that we don't have to hear about her anymore. And yes I hope for a clean up. If she dies I couldn't bear to see the Rolling Stone tribute to her, remembering her as a talented and controversial artist. She's a product. Products become obselete. And all we're left with is the old adage- Is it better to burn out than to fade away?
Thanks for adding me to this awesome blog. I really like reading what everyone has to say. It's bedtime for me, so have a good night. Can't wait to hear from you all tomorrow!
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Broken, Blistered and Boycotting
Hey ladies. So Mon just invited me to this blog and be that my name is on the contributor list, I feel the need to write something straight away.
On Friday I felt the need to buy shoes. The recent fall weather [I live in Baltimore, MD] (with the exception of the past few days) and an email from DSW of a huge clearance event going on is the most likely culprit of this desire. As I walked up and down the long aisles of shoe possibilities, the only ones I felt I could spend money on were either a) not my size (a completely seperate topic of how being size 10 has limited possibilities) b) the shoes did not fit, or c) they were Steve Madden.
My trip was not unsuccessful however. I am currently wearing my new subtle black snakeskin ballet flats. And by wearing I mean they have pinched my pinky toes and heels and are therefore under my desk, not on my feet. But this is the breaking in process of pain I must go through, as I'm sure others do, in order to become completely satisfied with a comfy pair of shoes. It is ironic however that they are Dr. Scholl's with the words "feel crazy good" promoting how comfy they are. It should really say 'in two weeks will feel crazy good.'
But, back to the point of this blog. Why is it I have a problem with Steve Madden? It's not that I don't enjoy his designs. I do. But I refuse to buy a shoe for $50, a so called affordable price for shoes these days, that will not last. I have recently realized that every pair of Steve Madden shoes I have bought have either fallen apart just after I broke them in, or an integral part of the shoe structure has broken on only the third time wearing them, i.e. my high heeled black shoes with an ankle strap that broke July 31st around noon while I was walking to a conference meeting.
Now, you might think that my "breaking in" of one pair of shoes was cause for its ultimate destruction, but on the contrary, my black leather ballet flats simply needed to be stretched a bit across the top of my foot, and being leather, this is not unreasonable. I loved those shoes in fact, I even wore them when the sole detached in the front and they looked like ducks.
I am not pushing others to boycott Steve's shoes. I am simply stating the distress I have felt over this. There is a place on his Web site to tell Steve the good and the bad. And believe me, I will send an email of my all bad experiences, but I would just like to say how weird the language is.
"We want you to be happy and we want to know about it if you are happy or sad. you can rest assured that we will not stop until we can put a large smile on your face. If you are happy, I would love to know about it however if you are sad, I would also like to know about it. Our product experience specialists are absolutley passionate about your happiness, so please trust in communicating with them..."
Is this kindergarten/disney world/sunshine/rainbow/smiley language supposed to make disgruntled customers less annoyed with the product? I somehow don't believe that thier customer service representatives are passionate about my happiness, especially considering how most customer service represetatives are outsourced and think little of Americans- again a different post for a different day. And will these "specialists" really stop at nothing to put a smile on my face? Because what would put a smile on my face would be some free, no strings attached shoes. At least then I will get some more mileage out of my money. But this part of the Web site might have been created when Steve was in jail, I don't know. See, he had to resign as CEO of his company for securities fraud and money- laundering in the 90's. Although, he was able to make six figures working from prison as a creative consultant. But I'm not bashing him for bad choices, money can do odd things to people. Now he's out of prison and making more money and shoes than ever, hence the wide range of shoes I walked past at DSW on Friday.
So I apologize if anyone is a diehard Steve Madden fan, or if you found this post completely pointless and feel dumber for reading it, but I would not want anyone, on a limited budget as I am, to buy a pair of shoes for $50 or more, and have them fall apart.
On Friday I felt the need to buy shoes. The recent fall weather [I live in Baltimore, MD] (with the exception of the past few days) and an email from DSW of a huge clearance event going on is the most likely culprit of this desire. As I walked up and down the long aisles of shoe possibilities, the only ones I felt I could spend money on were either a) not my size (a completely seperate topic of how being size 10 has limited possibilities) b) the shoes did not fit, or c) they were Steve Madden.
My trip was not unsuccessful however. I am currently wearing my new subtle black snakeskin ballet flats. And by wearing I mean they have pinched my pinky toes and heels and are therefore under my desk, not on my feet. But this is the breaking in process of pain I must go through, as I'm sure others do, in order to become completely satisfied with a comfy pair of shoes. It is ironic however that they are Dr. Scholl's with the words "feel crazy good" promoting how comfy they are. It should really say 'in two weeks will feel crazy good.'
But, back to the point of this blog. Why is it I have a problem with Steve Madden? It's not that I don't enjoy his designs. I do. But I refuse to buy a shoe for $50, a so called affordable price for shoes these days, that will not last. I have recently realized that every pair of Steve Madden shoes I have bought have either fallen apart just after I broke them in, or an integral part of the shoe structure has broken on only the third time wearing them, i.e. my high heeled black shoes with an ankle strap that broke July 31st around noon while I was walking to a conference meeting.
Now, you might think that my "breaking in" of one pair of shoes was cause for its ultimate destruction, but on the contrary, my black leather ballet flats simply needed to be stretched a bit across the top of my foot, and being leather, this is not unreasonable. I loved those shoes in fact, I even wore them when the sole detached in the front and they looked like ducks.
I am not pushing others to boycott Steve's shoes. I am simply stating the distress I have felt over this. There is a place on his Web site to tell Steve the good and the bad. And believe me, I will send an email of my all bad experiences, but I would just like to say how weird the language is.
"We want you to be happy and we want to know about it if you are happy or sad. you can rest assured that we will not stop until we can put a large smile on your face. If you are happy, I would love to know about it however if you are sad, I would also like to know about it. Our product experience specialists are absolutley passionate about your happiness, so please trust in communicating with them..."
Is this kindergarten/disney world/sunshine/rainbow/smiley language supposed to make disgruntled customers less annoyed with the product? I somehow don't believe that thier customer service representatives are passionate about my happiness, especially considering how most customer service represetatives are outsourced and think little of Americans- again a different post for a different day. And will these "specialists" really stop at nothing to put a smile on my face? Because what would put a smile on my face would be some free, no strings attached shoes. At least then I will get some more mileage out of my money. But this part of the Web site might have been created when Steve was in jail, I don't know. See, he had to resign as CEO of his company for securities fraud and money- laundering in the 90's. Although, he was able to make six figures working from prison as a creative consultant. But I'm not bashing him for bad choices, money can do odd things to people. Now he's out of prison and making more money and shoes than ever, hence the wide range of shoes I walked past at DSW on Friday.
So I apologize if anyone is a diehard Steve Madden fan, or if you found this post completely pointless and feel dumber for reading it, but I would not want anyone, on a limited budget as I am, to buy a pair of shoes for $50 or more, and have them fall apart.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
What Teachers Make
Taylor Mali, slam poet extraordinaire, droppin some knowledge on our asses. Check the video down below.
In other news, you should check out this series of articles from TIME magazine about the rising volunteer rates in the U.S. Let's keep it up!
http://www.time.com/time/specials/2007/0,28757,1657256,00.html
In other news, you should check out this series of articles from TIME magazine about the rising volunteer rates in the U.S. Let's keep it up!
http://www.time.com/time/specials/2007/0,28757,1657256,00.html
Sunday, April 29, 2007
As promised, here is the quote I wanted to post in case it inspired anyone to blog. I'll leave a few comments after to get the ball rolling. And I promise this is my last mention of The Beauty Myth. I'm starting Atlas Shrugged next, so you can look forward to posts about that. :-)
"The relation of doctors to women has been less than straight-forward for most of their history. Healing and tending the sick were primarily female skills until the Enlightenment; women's medical effectiveness was one catalyst for the witch burnings that swept Europe from the fourteenth to the eighteenth centuries. But the ascent of science and the exclusion of women healers from the childbed are connected, and the professionalization of medicine in the nineteenth century deliberately barred women from their traditional healing role."
(Wolf later goes on to compare the Victorian age of medicine where women's healthy behaviors like menstration and sexual drive were deemed "sick" to the modern cosmetic surgery practices where failure to compare to an ideal female form are considered "sick." I think this is interesting too, but can't find a quote that is concise enough to include).
****
A brief response from me: The book was written 16 years ago, and 16 years is a long time in medicine, so perhaps times have changed. I have never felt "barred" from the opportunity to persue medicine. Though I do feel some things are certainly more difficult (e.g. making friendly small talk, yet sounding intelligent in entrance interviews, asking questions in class and making sure they sound intelligent so as not to be judged more harshly than male classmates).
However, whereas women are continuing to gain a level playing field in medicine, I'm afraid what is currently lagging is the science we are taught. Last week, in a lecture on eating disorders, a class of conditions which prominently affect women (90-95% of those with anorexia nervosa are female - American Psychiatric Association, 1994), only one scientific study was cited to demonstrate what happens to the body when deprived of food. That study was performed on fifty men. And since we don't starve people in the name of science anymore, it looks like this is some of the best information we'll have for awhile. I remember interviewing at Drexel University College of Medicine (a leading institution in women's health studies) and hearing that only recently it had been discovered that symptoms during the onset of a heart attack present differently in men than they do in women.
It certainly makes you wonder how much other information out there is based on research that made the assumption that women's bodies will react the same way men's will to a variable being tested.
"The relation of doctors to women has been less than straight-forward for most of their history. Healing and tending the sick were primarily female skills until the Enlightenment; women's medical effectiveness was one catalyst for the witch burnings that swept Europe from the fourteenth to the eighteenth centuries. But the ascent of science and the exclusion of women healers from the childbed are connected, and the professionalization of medicine in the nineteenth century deliberately barred women from their traditional healing role."
(Wolf later goes on to compare the Victorian age of medicine where women's healthy behaviors like menstration and sexual drive were deemed "sick" to the modern cosmetic surgery practices where failure to compare to an ideal female form are considered "sick." I think this is interesting too, but can't find a quote that is concise enough to include).
****
A brief response from me: The book was written 16 years ago, and 16 years is a long time in medicine, so perhaps times have changed. I have never felt "barred" from the opportunity to persue medicine. Though I do feel some things are certainly more difficult (e.g. making friendly small talk, yet sounding intelligent in entrance interviews, asking questions in class and making sure they sound intelligent so as not to be judged more harshly than male classmates).
However, whereas women are continuing to gain a level playing field in medicine, I'm afraid what is currently lagging is the science we are taught. Last week, in a lecture on eating disorders, a class of conditions which prominently affect women (90-95% of those with anorexia nervosa are female - American Psychiatric Association, 1994), only one scientific study was cited to demonstrate what happens to the body when deprived of food. That study was performed on fifty men. And since we don't starve people in the name of science anymore, it looks like this is some of the best information we'll have for awhile. I remember interviewing at Drexel University College of Medicine (a leading institution in women's health studies) and hearing that only recently it had been discovered that symptoms during the onset of a heart attack present differently in men than they do in women.
It certainly makes you wonder how much other information out there is based on research that made the assumption that women's bodies will react the same way men's will to a variable being tested.
Em's Response to Glam Hair vs. Patriarchy
Hey All,
I'm copying & pasting Em's response to my first post. It got posted as a comment, but I think the intention was for it to be on the main page (and I think it deserves to be).
Hope everyone is well.
-Aimee
**************
First, I want to say that this rings true with many of my thoughts lately. I recently read that the number reason women list for having a good day is "good" hair. So it seems as though a good hair day translates into a good day period. Now I find this to be quite disturbing, as I would like to think that a good day depends on much more than some protein on top of my head. I would like to think that a good day could mean that I did something significant, learned something, positively influenced someone else, or whatever.
So I started to pay attention to my own attitude, and realized that this said majority of women might be on to something. its not just my hair (which has not had a good day in a long time if you ask me), but my feelings about my overall appearance that strongly influence my self confidence, which in turn influences my attitude about myself and the way I relate to other people. I found that the better I felt about myself, the more outgoing and friendly I was with other people.
How bizarre, yet I have a feeling that I am not alone (at least to some extent). If I am, then someone needs to set me straight and let me in on the secret. Are we so vain that our perception of how we look colors everything we do? Why does "looking good" affect our outlook and attitude more than our actions, our accomplishments, our friendships?
I want to say that I truly believe that it does not. I want to believe that having a good hair day, or wearing a sexy outfit, only amplifies our feelings at any particular time, which are hopefully based on a more concrete and significant reality.
But given what society tells us on a daily basis and would like us to believe, it would not surprise me if I were wrong. It would be a constant and most probably unpleasant battle to fight what our culture tells us about our appearances. Would it really be worth it? Could it make us ultimately happier and more content people in the end?
Lastly, is this necessarily being pessimistic, or just realistic? Is this such a bad thing to be so affected by our appearances? After all, if our "good" day was not caused by our hair, then what might become of all those good hair days?
I'm copying & pasting Em's response to my first post. It got posted as a comment, but I think the intention was for it to be on the main page (and I think it deserves to be).
Hope everyone is well.
-Aimee
**************
First, I want to say that this rings true with many of my thoughts lately. I recently read that the number reason women list for having a good day is "good" hair. So it seems as though a good hair day translates into a good day period. Now I find this to be quite disturbing, as I would like to think that a good day depends on much more than some protein on top of my head. I would like to think that a good day could mean that I did something significant, learned something, positively influenced someone else, or whatever.
So I started to pay attention to my own attitude, and realized that this said majority of women might be on to something. its not just my hair (which has not had a good day in a long time if you ask me), but my feelings about my overall appearance that strongly influence my self confidence, which in turn influences my attitude about myself and the way I relate to other people. I found that the better I felt about myself, the more outgoing and friendly I was with other people.
How bizarre, yet I have a feeling that I am not alone (at least to some extent). If I am, then someone needs to set me straight and let me in on the secret. Are we so vain that our perception of how we look colors everything we do? Why does "looking good" affect our outlook and attitude more than our actions, our accomplishments, our friendships?
I want to say that I truly believe that it does not. I want to believe that having a good hair day, or wearing a sexy outfit, only amplifies our feelings at any particular time, which are hopefully based on a more concrete and significant reality.
But given what society tells us on a daily basis and would like us to believe, it would not surprise me if I were wrong. It would be a constant and most probably unpleasant battle to fight what our culture tells us about our appearances. Would it really be worth it? Could it make us ultimately happier and more content people in the end?
Lastly, is this necessarily being pessimistic, or just realistic? Is this such a bad thing to be so affected by our appearances? After all, if our "good" day was not caused by our hair, then what might become of all those good hair days?
Summer in the Valley
It's completely weird to think that I will soon graduate from college. Not too sure what to think about that. Apparently it's time to be a big girl. I mean, really? What the hell do I want to do in my life?
I decided to stick around the Pioneer Valley for at least the summer, hopefully to collect my thoughts before launching into grown-up land. I am currently compiling a summer to-do list in hopes of accomplishing the odds and ends I've been too busy to consider while swamped with academic frustration.
So far..
-Take Yoga classes (apparently you can take classes for free in some studios if you volunteer to clean yoga mats).
-Learn proper meditation practices.
-Visit a state (or states) I've never visited.
-Visit the many amazing places in the Pioneer Valley I've never seen.
-Buy a bicycle. And use it.
-Letter boxing.
-Begin and finish an artsy/crafty project of some sort (painting or jewelery-making, perhaps?).
-Continue to add more to this list.
I am also compiling a summer reading list and am open to interesting suggestions. Any thoughts?
peace.
I decided to stick around the Pioneer Valley for at least the summer, hopefully to collect my thoughts before launching into grown-up land. I am currently compiling a summer to-do list in hopes of accomplishing the odds and ends I've been too busy to consider while swamped with academic frustration.
So far..
-Take Yoga classes (apparently you can take classes for free in some studios if you volunteer to clean yoga mats).
-Learn proper meditation practices.
-Visit a state (or states) I've never visited.
-Visit the many amazing places in the Pioneer Valley I've never seen.
-Buy a bicycle. And use it.
-Letter boxing.
-Begin and finish an artsy/crafty project of some sort (painting or jewelery-making, perhaps?).
-Continue to add more to this list.
I am also compiling a summer reading list and am open to interesting suggestions. Any thoughts?
peace.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Blueberry and White Chocolate Chunk Ginger Cookies
Just to prove that posting doesn't have to be too thought-provoking...
Try this amazing quasi-healthy cookie recipe that was in a pamphlet I got at a CAM event. It's adapted from a recipe that was in Eating Well Magazine.
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1/4 cup ground flaxseed (or wheat germ) <-- wheat germ worked fine for me
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. ground ginger <--fresh ginger is better
1/4 cup egg substitute (or 2 egg whites)
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup canola oil
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 cup oats, quick-cooking or old-fashioned (not instant)
1/4 cup white chocolate chips
1/3 cup dried blueberries (or cranberries or cherries)
Optional: 1/4 cup crystallized ginger, chopped
Preheat oven to 375. Whisk together flour, ground flaxseed, baking soda, salt, and ground ginger in a small bowl. Whisk egg, brown sugar, oil, and vanilla in a large bowl. Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients; stir to combine. Add oats, white chocolate chips, and blueberries; stir just to combine. Drop by rounded tablespoonfuls onto 2 ungreased baking sheets 1 1/2 inches apart. Bake for 8-10 minutes until puffed and barely golden around edges. Cool on the pan for 2 minutes; transfer to wire rack to cool completely.
Nutrition Information (per cookie):
Calories: 90
Total Fat: 4.2 g
Saturated Fat: 0.6 g
Carbohydrate: 12.3 g
Dietary Fiber: 1.1 g
Protein: 1.5 g
Try this amazing quasi-healthy cookie recipe that was in a pamphlet I got at a CAM event. It's adapted from a recipe that was in Eating Well Magazine.
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1/4 cup ground flaxseed (or wheat germ) <-- wheat germ worked fine for me
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. ground ginger <--fresh ginger is better
1/4 cup egg substitute (or 2 egg whites)
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup canola oil
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 cup oats, quick-cooking or old-fashioned (not instant)
1/4 cup white chocolate chips
1/3 cup dried blueberries (or cranberries or cherries)
Optional: 1/4 cup crystallized ginger, chopped
Preheat oven to 375. Whisk together flour, ground flaxseed, baking soda, salt, and ground ginger in a small bowl. Whisk egg, brown sugar, oil, and vanilla in a large bowl. Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients; stir to combine. Add oats, white chocolate chips, and blueberries; stir just to combine. Drop by rounded tablespoonfuls onto 2 ungreased baking sheets 1 1/2 inches apart. Bake for 8-10 minutes until puffed and barely golden around edges. Cool on the pan for 2 minutes; transfer to wire rack to cool completely.
Nutrition Information (per cookie):
Calories: 90
Total Fat: 4.2 g
Saturated Fat: 0.6 g
Carbohydrate: 12.3 g
Dietary Fiber: 1.1 g
Protein: 1.5 g
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Glam Haircuts vs. Patriarchy
Thanks a bunch, Mon. I'm not really sure what I was thinking. Leave it to the med school girl. How do we get it so that our wonderfully witty lady friends can also post?
----
Before I get to discussing haircuts and patriarchy, I just have to ask are we not all just a bit too hard on ourselves?
Monica, in your last post, you talked about spreading yourself too thin and how you're afraid to graduate feeling like you didn't give your time to the right things. As a formerly super busy undergraduate who has had a bit of time to reflect on my undergraduate years, I say, please don't fret. Yes, you packed your schedule too much. You didn't make time for friends and family and good books and exercise and whatever else you expected your superhuman self to be able to do. But you didn't pack your schedule masochistically. Chances are the radio station and homework and general merriment and whatever else you did take the time to do was really important too. I think that in retrospect, we always forget why our priorities were priorities, because we expected ourselves to be able to do it all. Instead of worrying about what you haven't yet done, please take the next month and a half to soak in all that you have (which is crazy tons, I'm sure). And know that once your out of school, without millions of options of what to do, what's really important will emerge as you'll now need to make a greater effort to stay connected to what you really want to stay connected to.
----
Now. I've been reading Naomi Wolf's The Beauty Myth. Since it was published in 1991, I am sure some of what Wolf writes about has changed, but the message is certainly not outdated. Wolf examines how images of beauty are used against women in various arenas from work to religion to sex to violence and on and on. So of course, I've been spending my free thought time (aka showers and walking from the parking lot to class) thinking about how the need to feel beautiful affects me in everyday life.
Yesterday, I went to my hairdresser to get my hair colored and cut. I do this about once every four months. I make appointments with the same stylist each cut. This time, I felt the need for a change, so I chose a photo of an actress whose hairstyle I liked and asked my stylist to cut mine like the actress's. It took two hours (plus one more of driving time) to make this happen. I have three major exams in the next two weeks, but because of the length of my undyed roots and nasty split ends, I justified spending my time on my hair. When all was straightened and styled, I paid the $94 + tip and left feeling brilliant. I even thought to myself, "If I fail my exams, at least I'll look fantastic while I do it."
Last night, post-haircut high, I settled down for another chapter of The Beauty Myth. Wolf was discussing how fantastic the world would be if heterosexual love everywhere was built on men and women's mutual appreciation for one another (aka, I love you because your intelligent and are going to help save the world someday, not because you have $94 damn sexy hair). And I had to wonder, will I ever have that kind of love? Because even if I drown myself in women's studies literature, I still feel better about myself at the bar on Friday night in a tight little tube top and some mascara. And as much as I want the guy I'm attracted to at any particular time to appreciate me for things that have nothing to do with my appearance, I still know deep down that my heart would do Kerry Strugg-style vault moves if he told me he thinks I'm beautiful.
I feel jaded. I recognize that I have a right to follow modern beauty trends, and I can even use these habits as a means of bonding with other women, so long as I see and spread awareness of the wrongs of the system. Right now, I don't let myself feel guilty each time I push a tube of lip gloss to my lips and squeeze, because, as I said in the way beginning of this post, "aren't we all just a bit too hard on ourselves?" But I can't help but question my motives a bit more these days.
----
Before I get to discussing haircuts and patriarchy, I just have to ask are we not all just a bit too hard on ourselves?
Monica, in your last post, you talked about spreading yourself too thin and how you're afraid to graduate feeling like you didn't give your time to the right things. As a formerly super busy undergraduate who has had a bit of time to reflect on my undergraduate years, I say, please don't fret. Yes, you packed your schedule too much. You didn't make time for friends and family and good books and exercise and whatever else you expected your superhuman self to be able to do. But you didn't pack your schedule masochistically. Chances are the radio station and homework and general merriment and whatever else you did take the time to do was really important too. I think that in retrospect, we always forget why our priorities were priorities, because we expected ourselves to be able to do it all. Instead of worrying about what you haven't yet done, please take the next month and a half to soak in all that you have (which is crazy tons, I'm sure). And know that once your out of school, without millions of options of what to do, what's really important will emerge as you'll now need to make a greater effort to stay connected to what you really want to stay connected to.
----
Now. I've been reading Naomi Wolf's The Beauty Myth. Since it was published in 1991, I am sure some of what Wolf writes about has changed, but the message is certainly not outdated. Wolf examines how images of beauty are used against women in various arenas from work to religion to sex to violence and on and on. So of course, I've been spending my free thought time (aka showers and walking from the parking lot to class) thinking about how the need to feel beautiful affects me in everyday life.
Yesterday, I went to my hairdresser to get my hair colored and cut. I do this about once every four months. I make appointments with the same stylist each cut. This time, I felt the need for a change, so I chose a photo of an actress whose hairstyle I liked and asked my stylist to cut mine like the actress's. It took two hours (plus one more of driving time) to make this happen. I have three major exams in the next two weeks, but because of the length of my undyed roots and nasty split ends, I justified spending my time on my hair. When all was straightened and styled, I paid the $94 + tip and left feeling brilliant. I even thought to myself, "If I fail my exams, at least I'll look fantastic while I do it."
Last night, post-haircut high, I settled down for another chapter of The Beauty Myth. Wolf was discussing how fantastic the world would be if heterosexual love everywhere was built on men and women's mutual appreciation for one another (aka, I love you because your intelligent and are going to help save the world someday, not because you have $94 damn sexy hair). And I had to wonder, will I ever have that kind of love? Because even if I drown myself in women's studies literature, I still feel better about myself at the bar on Friday night in a tight little tube top and some mascara. And as much as I want the guy I'm attracted to at any particular time to appreciate me for things that have nothing to do with my appearance, I still know deep down that my heart would do Kerry Strugg-style vault moves if he told me he thinks I'm beautiful.
I feel jaded. I recognize that I have a right to follow modern beauty trends, and I can even use these habits as a means of bonding with other women, so long as I see and spread awareness of the wrongs of the system. Right now, I don't let myself feel guilty each time I push a tube of lip gloss to my lips and squeeze, because, as I said in the way beginning of this post, "aren't we all just a bit too hard on ourselves?" But I can't help but question my motives a bit more these days.
Let's Try This Again...
Ok, I changed the name and we now have ourselves a new blog.
We will no longer mentally menstruate.
Ew.
peace.
We will no longer mentally menstruate.
Ew.
peace.
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