Thanks a bunch, Mon. I'm not really sure what I was thinking. Leave it to the med school girl. How do we get it so that our wonderfully witty lady friends can also post?
----
Before I get to discussing haircuts and patriarchy, I just have to ask are we not all just a bit too hard on ourselves?
Monica, in your last post, you talked about spreading yourself too thin and how you're afraid to graduate feeling like you didn't give your time to the right things. As a formerly super busy undergraduate who has had a bit of time to reflect on my undergraduate years, I say, please don't fret. Yes, you packed your schedule too much. You didn't make time for friends and family and good books and exercise and whatever else you expected your superhuman self to be able to do. But you didn't pack your schedule masochistically. Chances are the radio station and homework and general merriment and whatever else you did take the time to do was really important too. I think that in retrospect, we always forget why our priorities were priorities, because we expected ourselves to be able to do it all. Instead of worrying about what you haven't yet done, please take the next month and a half to soak in all that you have (which is crazy tons, I'm sure). And know that once your out of school, without millions of options of what to do, what's really important will emerge as you'll now need to make a greater effort to stay connected to what you really want to stay connected to.
----
Now. I've been reading Naomi Wolf's The Beauty Myth. Since it was published in 1991, I am sure some of what Wolf writes about has changed, but the message is certainly not outdated. Wolf examines how images of beauty are used against women in various arenas from work to religion to sex to violence and on and on. So of course, I've been spending my free thought time (aka showers and walking from the parking lot to class) thinking about how the need to feel beautiful affects me in everyday life.
Yesterday, I went to my hairdresser to get my hair colored and cut. I do this about once every four months. I make appointments with the same stylist each cut. This time, I felt the need for a change, so I chose a photo of an actress whose hairstyle I liked and asked my stylist to cut mine like the actress's. It took two hours (plus one more of driving time) to make this happen. I have three major exams in the next two weeks, but because of the length of my undyed roots and nasty split ends, I justified spending my time on my hair. When all was straightened and styled, I paid the $94 + tip and left feeling brilliant. I even thought to myself, "If I fail my exams, at least I'll look fantastic while I do it."
Last night, post-haircut high, I settled down for another chapter of The Beauty Myth. Wolf was discussing how fantastic the world would be if heterosexual love everywhere was built on men and women's mutual appreciation for one another (aka, I love you because your intelligent and are going to help save the world someday, not because you have $94 damn sexy hair). And I had to wonder, will I ever have that kind of love? Because even if I drown myself in women's studies literature, I still feel better about myself at the bar on Friday night in a tight little tube top and some mascara. And as much as I want the guy I'm attracted to at any particular time to appreciate me for things that have nothing to do with my appearance, I still know deep down that my heart would do Kerry Strugg-style vault moves if he told me he thinks I'm beautiful.
I feel jaded. I recognize that I have a right to follow modern beauty trends, and I can even use these habits as a means of bonding with other women, so long as I see and spread awareness of the wrongs of the system. Right now, I don't let myself feel guilty each time I push a tube of lip gloss to my lips and squeeze, because, as I said in the way beginning of this post, "aren't we all just a bit too hard on ourselves?" But I can't help but question my motives a bit more these days.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Isn't it interesting that there is such a move *away* from "glam" in the far Right religious groups? Most of the 'modesty movement' literature is about 'if a man really cares for you, he will care for who you are, not what you wear or if you are wearing lipstick'.
First, I want to say that this rings true with many of my thoughts lately. I recently read that the number reason women list for having a good day is "good" hair. So it seems as though a good hair day translates into a good day period. Now I find this to be quite disturbing, as I would like to think that a good day depends on much more than some protein on top of my head. I would like to think that a good day could mean that I did something significant, learned something, positively influenced someone else, or whatever.
So I started to pay attention to my own attitude, and realized that this said majority of women might be on to something. its not just my hair (which has not had a good day in a long time if you ask me), but my feelings about my overall appearance that strongly influence my self confidence, which in turn influences my attitude about myself and the way I relate to other people. I found that the better I felt about myself, the more outgoing and friendly I was with other people.
How bizarre, yet I have a feeling that I am not alone (at least to some extent). If I am, then someone needs to set me straight and let me in on the secret. Are we so vain that our perception of how we look colors everything we do? Why does "looking good" affect our outlook and attitude more than our actions, our accomplishments, our friendships?
I want to say that I truly believe that it does not. I want to believe that having a good hair day, or wearing a sexy outfit, only amplifies our feelings at any particular time, which are hopefully based on a more concrete and significant reality.
But given what society tells us on a daily basis and would like us to believe, it would not surprise me if I were wrong. It would be a constant and most probably unpleasant battle to fight what our culture tells us about our appearances. Would it really be worth it? Could it make us ultimately happier and more content people in the end?
Lastly, is this necessarily being pessimistic, or just realistic? Is this such a bad thing to be so affected by our appearances? After all, if our "good" day was not caused by our hair, then what might become of all those good hair days?
Post a Comment